Next up is Ryan with a classic voicemail that starts like this: “Hey Broham. I’m sure you’re probably knee deep in amniotic fluid by now….” Nailed it.
And now it’s time for some backstory. We did not find out the sex of the baby during Jaynie’s pregnancy. A couple of months ago, after a regular ultrasound checkup, Jaynie asked the technician if she could tell what sex the baby was. “Yes,” said the technician. Well, there you go. If you can tell without looking for it, it must be a boy. Positive it’s a boy. Boy clothes. Boy names. All of that. This would be a good time to review the difference between foreshadowing and a red herring.
Wednesday afternoon. November 12. Jaynie has been in labor since the previous evening and is now in pushing-hard-every-couple-of-minutes-labor. This labor, the pushing-hard-every-couple-of-minutes-labor, lasts for about 3 hours. I had the job of mirroring the nurse opposite me and lifting Jaynie’s knee and foot every time she pushed. I figure my job was about as difficult as Jaynie’s and we’ve decided to call it even.
Sunny side up, vacuum, episiotomy. Hairy little head of hair arrives. I think that’s the head. Face arrives. I think that’s the body. Body arrives…holy moly that is a big baby. 3:08 PM.